Somehow, that was worse
by Ferryman of Styx
Summary: She's gone? I can't believe that she's actually gone. Why would she leave me? Where could she have gone? What could have been so bad that she couldn't just . . . just talk to me about it? We're friends . . . aren't we?


**A/N:** Speech " ", Thoughts _Italicized_, Letter " " & _Italicized_.

**Somehow . . . That was worse.**

_She's gone? I can't believe that she's actually gone. Why would she leave me? Where could she have gone? What could have been so bad that she couldn't just . . . just talk to me about it? We're friends . . . aren't we? I mean we've always been there for each other. We've helped each other through every thing . . . all of us have. So why did she leave? She could have talked to one of us about it . . . couldn't she? I mean what could be that bad?_

"Usagi-chan . . . USAGI! Snap out of it." Minako tried to shake her friend out of her stupor with no success. She wasn't surprised really, considering the circumstances. She looked around sadly at her other friends standing around the small apartment. Mamoru sat comforting Usagi, Makoto was in the kitchen, Ami rummaged around the small study, Setsuna was standing out on the balcony, Michiru sat on the couch comforting Hotaru and Haruka had gone to check the bedroom.

She couldn't believe that Rei had left. The 9 of them came over to Rei's apartment. They were planning on spending the day together, just hanging out. As they walked into the apartment block the security guard stopped them

_**Flashback**_

"Hello Eric-san." Minako greeted happily, as the nine of them walked into the building, Eric, the security guard, however had a rather grim look on his face. Minako stopped seeing this and turned to the friendly old man, "Is everything alright?"

The others had stopped by now to see what was going on. Eric turned to the young people, "Are you here to see Rei-san?" Seeing them nod, with confused looks on their faces, Eric turned and walked over to his desk and grabbed a key. Walking over to Minako he handed her the key, at the confused look on her face he explained. "Rei-san left this morning. She asked me to give you her key so that you could get into her apartment, said that there's a letter there for you. I'm sorry . . . but she's gone."

They were stunned. Rei had left? After thanking Eric, the nine of them headed over to the elevator. Once they pilled in, Haruka pressed the button to take them to the seventh floor, where Rei's apartment was. Once they reached the seventh floor Minako walked to the door and placed the key into the lock, the young woman hesitated a moment before she turned it and opened the door. What she found was an empty apartment. The furniture was all still there but the small apartment was void of life.

Somehow . . . that was worse.

_**End Flashback**_

Minako couldn't help the disappointed sigh that escaped her lips. Somehow she had hoped that Eric had been wrong, or that Rei was playing a joke on them. She always was rather fond of jokes. But no . . . Rei was nowhere to be found. _You know what makes it worse . . . _Minako thought _. . . the place looks like Rei hasn't even left, somehow that's worse. I think it would be easier if there was no trace that she was ever here, but then again maybe that would be worse . . . At least this way, there's a chance she'll come back. I hope with all my heart that she does . . . cause you know what? I miss my best friend._

Minako was pulled from her inner musing by a familiar voice, Haruka. "Guys, come have a look at this." The young women and Mamoru all headed to the bedroom, where Haruka's voice had come from. It seemed that the possibility of an explanation as to Rei's disappearance was enough to pull even Usagi from her stupor. As they reached the bedroom, they were greeted with the sight of Haruka standing beside the bed holding an envelope.

"What does it say?" Mamoru asked, as he took his place beside a distraught Usagi and put his arm around her. _Damn you Rei-chan. Damn you for doing this to her_ he thought as he held Usagi tighter.

"I don't know. I haven't opened it . . . It's addressed to Usagi-chan." Haruka replied, turning around to face her friends. At hearing what Haruka said Usagi looked up and started at the letter. Haruka offered the letter to her princess, waiting for her to take it. Usagi stepped forward and extended a shaking hand. She took the letter from Haruka and sat heavily down on the bed. Mamoru was about to step forward and join Usagi on the bed but a hand on his arm stopped him. The prince looked back to see Minako shaking her head, Mamoru just nodded and Minako stepped past him to join Usagi on the bed. She had a feeling she knew what the letter was going to say.

Usagi felt the bed sag next to her under the wait of another. She found herself praying it wasn't Mamoru, she had a feeling this letter was not something he should see. Relief flooded her as she turned her head to see Minako settle herself on the bed and place an arm around her princess's shoulders. "Open it" And Usagi couldn't help but nod and opened the envelope.

_"Dear Princess,_

_By now you've obviously found out that I've left, other wise you wouldn't be reading this letter. I'm sorry for leaving, I'm sorry for not talking to you and I'm sorry if I've hurt you, but with the way I feel right now I hope with all my being that you're hurting like hell. Cause that's how you've made me feel from the moment I first met you. You couldn't have just left well enough alone could you, damn your fucking, big heart. No, not you, you just had to befriend me . . . I was just fine before you came along you know. I mean sure I was lonely but it's better than living like this. Why the fuck would you notice me anyway, you've got your damned prince to worry about, I mean why would you give a crap about poor, little, pathetic Rei-chan. Well you know what . . . I don't need you and I'm gonna prove it. You know what else . . . I've decided that I hate him, but you're probably wondering who I'm talking about aren't you? Well it's none other than your perfect little prince. I hate him, I hate him with every fibre of my being and from the bottom of my heart . . . and you know what? I don't care if it's petty, I don't care if it's uncouth and I sure as hell don't care if it hurts your feelings, cause you know what? Right now . . . I hate you, I hate you so fucking much . . . so I'm gonna walk away, I'm just gonna walk the hell away. I'll be back though, eventually, maybe in a few days, a few weeks, a few months, maybe even in a few years, I'm not sure yet. Count on this though, I'll be back . . . and when I am . . . I want to hold you like your boyfriend does._

_Love _

_YOUR Rei"_

Usagi just sat there and stared at the letter, jaw lost to the floor sometime ago, tears streaming down her face. Minako tightened her arm around the princess's shoulders. She had the read the letter from beside Usagi. To be quite honest, Minako was stunned, she had known that her friend was hurting but she never knew it had been that bad.

The other senshi were watching their princess with baited breath waiting to find out why their friend had left, but seeing Usagi in tears did not bode well. Haruka stepped in front of her princess and kneeled down. Usagi looked into Haruka's eyes as she whispered, "She's really gone."

Everyone's heart broke at the pain in Usagi's voice. Mamoru stepped forward to try and take the letter from his beloved. However as he reached for it, Usagi's hands tightened around the letter and she pulled it to her chest. Face contorting in confusion he voiced his bewilderment, "Usagi . . . what's going on?"

"Leave." Usagi's voice was cold and emotionless despite the tears streaming down her face.

Mamoru flinched at her words, "Usagi?"

When she looked up at him, he was not prepared for what he saw, an emotion akin to hate burned in Usagi's eyes, "Just get the hell away from me!"

As Mamoru moved to grab for the letter again he felt a fist connect with his stomach. He crumpled to the floor in agony. Haruka stood menacingly over him she repeated Usagi's command in a low and threatening growl, "She said get the hell away, so if you don't start moving you over grown ass in about three seconds I'm gonna kick it right out that seven story window. One . . . Two . . ." Haruka didn't have to go any further as the prince high tailed it out of the apartment.

As Haruka turned around she saw her princess curled up in Minako's arms sobbing. The letter had fallen, discarded to the ground at the departure of the prince. Haruka walked over to the tear stained letter and picked it up. With one last glance at Usagi she began to read the letter.

Haruka could feel the others eyes on her as she read the letter with an emotionless face. She sighed sadly once she finished the letter, maybe this was for the best . . . for now. It would give the princess time to sort out her feelings, although she had already taken a step in the right direction. Haruka handed the letter over to who ever was standing next to her, she wasn't paying attention, and joined the other two blonds on the bed, wrapped her arms around the princess and whispered "Don't worry Koneko-chan, she'll be back."  
_Please, please, please come back soon Rei . . . She needs you._

**The END**

**Disclaimer: **I unfortunately do not own Sailor Moon. It belongs to its respective owner, which is not me.

**A/N: **All reviews are welcome and appreciated.


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